Here's looking at you, trans woman

I am confident in my trans identity and I don't mind being noticed as long as no one bothers me. But something happened on Monday that left me feeling uncomfortable.

I was at a pub near the Surrey / Berkshire border, having a drink with two dear friends. During our time together, I went to the Ladies. There was no one there. I inadvertently left my sunglasses in the Ladies by mistake.

At the end we said goodbye and left the pub. I realised I'd left my sunglasses behind, so I went back into the pub. As I walked into the Ladies, I bumped into a woman coming out. She gave me a surprised look. The sunglasses weren't there. So I asked for them at the bar. Someone had handed them in. I then realised that the bar conversation had stopped and the barman and customers at the bar were all looking at me. The woman I bumped into must have told everyone that a trans woman had used the Ladies. I left as quickly as I could.

Of course this is now part of everyday life for trans women. But that doesn't make it any better. My friends were outraged when I told them. We won't go there again.

One of my friends said she would raise this with the pub manager. I was wondering, what can they do about it? Even if the management want to welcome everyone, they can't control their customers' prejudices. They could advertise themselves as inclusive and display a Pride flag. But then some of their less enlightened customers might not go there again, and that would be bad for business. Particularly in a fly-the-flag part of the country.

I'm not asking for pubs that cater specifically for the queer community. I just want to be treated with respect, the same as everyone else should be.